23 Things I've Learned in 23 Years

23. Love always wins. I was out last night at the Lincoln Haymarket to have a Happy 23rd Birthday photo shoot and this glowing couple came up to me and exclaimed that it was their 32nd Wedding Anniversary and that what are the odds of running into each other?! They had noticed my big silver balloons and asked if they could switch the balloons around for a quick pic. Of course they could! God knows that love stories are so important to me. I see a reflection of the truest love story of God pursuing my heart when I see a couple relentlessly pursue each other throughout their marriage. Thank you Mr. & Mrs. Bartle for letting me share a glimpse into the sweet sparkle you share for each other and model for your children!

Happy 32nd Anniversary Mrs. & Mr. Barbara Bartle!

22. Think the best of him/her. Too many times I misinterpreted others’ actions and completely missed the point that they had endearing intentions. Clarify and condition your heart to not be defensive.

21. Perspective is powerful. One of my favorite quotes is, “Sooner or later you will see the big picture God is painting for your life instead of just the colors He's using at the moment.”

20. Spend some time on the streets learning from people who are homeless. Their advice about avoiding their circumstances and their positivity towards finding the little things in life to add cheer are priceless.

19. Take care of your health. When I was 19 I found out I have fructose intolerance. Following the FODMAP diet has eliminated the majority of my issues and I now enjoy eating the delightful foods our Creator made!

18. Invest energy and time into protecting your family unit. As a daughter I have a responsibility to uphold my parents marriage by not pitting the other parent against each other. As a sister I have a responsibility of mentoring my brother and sharing my mistakes with him so that he does not make the same.

17. Take Driver’s Education. In Hawaii my instructor, Mr. Higa, pled with our class to sign a pledge to not text and drive as well as to not talk on the phone and drive. The point is that our mind is distracted while we are engaged in those activities, even hands free. A person on the other end of the phone can’t see that semi coming too close and will not let up talking. “Don’t tempt fate that text can wait.”

16. Push yourself academically. When I was 16 my mom encouraged me to leave high school to pursue college at part-time, slow, and steady pace. After prayerfully considering it, that was a great choice for me and one that my younger brother has made as well.

15. Don’t follow the status quo. Listen to what God is telling you to do. Some of the choices I have made have been because the Holy Spirit was calling me to make them. Sometimes professors and even church members will not understand the calling God has for you. Don’t let that get in the way of God parting the Red Sea.

14. You can wait to find your mate. In other words, you don’t have to say yes to every date. One of my favorite quotes by Eric Vaughn is, “If his six pack is fantastic, but his Bible is still in the plastic. I don’t even gotta say it.”

13. Train your brain to reframe negative thoughts into positive ones. Forming healthy connections and pathways in our brain means making the choice to not engage in negativity. You may need to make boundaries with others who do not want to go on this marathon with you.  

12. Exercise your body, it will thank you. Your performance at work and school will skyrocket. You will think clearer and be more efficient. Squats and burpees are my best friend.

11. Interview couples about their family dynamics and love story. Their advice will set you up for success and help you beware of common pitfalls that are avoidable. Getting couples to reminisce about their love story may encourage them to choose to reenact those times and strengthen their spark and choice to love each other continually.

10. Getting jabs is often from others’ insecurity. Hurt people hurt people. They need a healthy dose of unconditional love. Don’t take it personally. You have the special gift of modeling to them what going the extra mile means.

9. Find humor in everything you can. I once heard a quote that went something like, “Children laugh on average 300 times a day, while adults laugh on average 17 times a day. Jesus says we should be like children.”

8. Learn the love languages of those around you. Is it words of affirmation, physical tough, receiving gifts, quality time, or acts of service? One time I told someone who is like my sister that her love language must be this or that. She smiled and sweetly said, “Oh, I think they are ALL my love languages.” Your encouragement, affirmation, empathy, touch, thoughtfulness, focus, one-on-one time, and actions speak volumes and can communicate love on a daily basis.

7. Celebrate Sabbath. Taking a 24-hour break from academics and work has never held me back or hindered my life, it has only caused me to be more energized, at peace, and ready for the next week. If God rested on the 7^th day from all of His creation, then of course we can rest on that day and enjoy His creation.

6. Set healthy boundaries, emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally. Set emotional boundaries with those who are not your spouse or significant other. Set physical boundaries in your relationships. Set spiritual boundaries in your values and who sets the tone for your choices. Set mental boundaries through taking breaks and agreeing to how much you will take on.

5. Proverbs 11:25 is so true! “The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.” It really is greater to give than to receive. We can never out give God. In reflecting on giving tithe, God has always supplied more than I need and given me more in return than the 10% that I have given back that was already His to begin with.

4. Less is more. This is true in a lot of areas. You will probably feel better if you don’t overstuff yourself at mealtime, if you don’t spread yourself thin with extracurricular activities, and if you listen more than you speak. 

3. Stay transparent. When I have opened up about my current struggles, others echo that they can relate and then we can encourage each other. When I have told faculty that I am struggling in their classes, they talk me through the material and give me test-taking tips. When you finally talk to God about how you feel overburdened, He has permission from you to lighten your load. 

2. Be genuine. Find out how the person next to you is doing whether they are a friend, foe, or stranger and ask them follow-up questions to go deeper. Thoughtfully respond when someone takes you off guard, they just might need a genuine gesture.

1. Give God a chance. What picture of His character has been painted for you all these years? The God I know is a God of love, Who is doing everything He can to protect you in such a sin-filled world, Who is not controlling everyone’s actions because He gives free choice, Who has a better plan that is unfolding one day closer at a time, Who wants to pursue a genuine friendship with you, and Who loves you just as you are, but too much to leave you and me that way.

In His Joys,

Hannah Elise Abbott

Don't Sweat It

In Luke 22:39-46 Jesus goes to the Mount of Olives with His disciples to pray in the garden. Jesus asked his disciples to pray so that they would not enter into temptation. Jesus knelt down about a stone’s throw away and prayed, “Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done.” Jesus petitions and pleads with God to give Him an alternative route, yet submits to the Father graciously throughout the entire ordeal. A heavenly angel comes to encourage Jesus with strength from on high. The Bible says that “being in agony, Jesus prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.”

            Jesus is so distraught with the weight of the world’s sins on His shoulders. His body is reacting to the extreme levels of stress by producing big drops of blood. Jesus’ way of combating the enemy of sin was through fervent prayer and submission to God. As each drop of blood dripped from the Savior’s brow, He selflessly showed that you, His child, do not ever need to sweat it. Whether you are battling an addiction, fighting an illness, or upset by circumstances, remember that you don’t need to sweat it. The Savior has already fought that battle for you and He won it victoriously.

            When you are tempted to think that your battle will never get better, remember that there is a God who has already won the war. When you begin to go down the slippery slope of sulking in reaction to your strife, remember that submitting to God worked for Jesus and will work for you too. Make replacing your overwhelmed countenance with an ordinary reaction to pray. Jesus felt the sting of every situation that has ever and will ever try to weigh you down. The garden is where Jesus willingly allowed every heartache and hard time to uproot from your life and plant into His. There is no reason to sweat it, the Savior has already bled it.

Koko Head
Honolulu, Hawaii

Secret to Student Success

The agenda of the graduate student welcome was designed to be the pep talk to survival for the next two years. I scrambled to take notes as the engaging speaker shared the secret to student success and wondered if it would really be the answer.

First, take care of yourself. “Pop tarts are not a food group and right clicking is not exercise” (Moore, 2003, p. 238). Somehow I managed to go the whole semester without eating pop tarts, probably because I am fructose-intolerant. The Campus Recreation and Wellness Center on East Campus is the place to go for exhilarating group workout classes. Three levels of equipment, gyms, and a golf simulator make taking a break from right clicking worth it. About halfway through the semester one of my classmates became my workout accountability partner, which helped increase my consistency.

Second, relationships outside of the grad program help with perspective and balance. Devote time and energy to keeping relationships strong. Go to counseling. Thankfully my family is here in Lincoln with me and they have been a huge support system. Keeping in touch with friends faraway and taking breaks to celebrate with friends here has been a must.

About a month ago I went away to the Kansas-Nebraska Conference of SDA Women’s Retreat with my mom. I felt impressed to go to a particular breakout session and to stay even when the topic turned out to be about parenting strategies. The speaker, Pearl smiled at me and said that it’s never too early to prepare. Pearl is a professional counselor and is the person God has used to encourage and focus my energy on what Jesus has to say. She is the first Christian counselor I have ever encountered who always puts the spotlight back on Jesus. When I have situations that are frustrating and daunting, she has me make a list of the facts, my emotions, and how Jesus brings the two sides together through Scripture. Together we pray bold prayers and I have already seen God answer.

Third, develop strong relationships with peers, faculty, advisor, and advanced grad students. My peers have hugged each other through the happy moments, wiped each other’s tears from the stressful times, and laughed through the long hours. The faculty have shared wisdom each day, brought in exercise instructors in place of class, spoiled us with sweet treats, and given us grace when we needed it most. My advisor has mapped out the best course of action and believed in me when I was unsure of myself. Advanced grad students have not ever flinched to help steer fellow students and me in the right direction, no matter how busy they were.

Fourth, no peer comparison. Time management and organization are critical. Set goals, prioritize, develop schedules, and meet deadlines. The past four years I have used an hour-by-hour planner that maps out my location, to do list, and accomplishments. Instead of comparing, why not thank God for other people’s strengths and collaborate with them to improve your weaknesses? “Being a graduate student is like becoming all of the Seven Dwarves. In the beginning, you’re Dopey and Bashful. In the middle, you are usually sick (Sneezy), tired (Sleepy), and irritable (Grumpy). But at the end, they call you Doc, and then you’re Happy.” ~ Ronald T. Azuma

Fifth, you are not here because of a clerical error. Admissions process is rigorous and you made it. During the first week of speech-language pathology orientation I was still in shock that my name was on a mailbox and that I had a key to my own desk. There were times that my own study guides helped other students perform better on exams than myself and times when I thought that choosing me was a mistake. We are each allowed to have a total of two B minuses as our final grade in the entire program before we are asked to leave. It was tempting to give up when I entertained the lie from the enemy that I was not going to make it academically. Pearl, taught me how to take scripture and fight back those lies with truth. Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Isaiah 26:3 says, “You will keep her in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because she trusts in You.” James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”

This first semester of graduate school has unleashed the peace that comes from the power of focusing on God. Praying through the productive days and praising God amidst the overwhelming days is what I want my life to echo. One semester down, five more to go until the Master of Science in Speech-Language Pathology is complete. Thanking God for the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, in-state tuition, family that has spent hours on their knees in prayer for me, the wise counsel of Pearl, the challenges that allowed me to give God the glory when victories happened, you, and no B minuses.

In His Joys,

Hannah Elise Abbott

Champions Do Not Crumble to the Cares Christ Has Already Conquered

            If you like getting clues, Jesus is hinting at valuable information in the book of John chapter 16:33 which says, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Knowing we have a God Who knows what we are up against should give us perfect peace.

A good teacher knows the assignments and tests are hard, but they prepare you to overcome them. Similarly, God understands the minor and monumental difficulties each one of us will ever face yet He offers the powerful potion of peace. Somehow the sadness will settle, the craziness will mellow, and the demands will decrease. So, why not take peace for every piece of the puzzle? After all, one day it will all turn into a majestic masterpiece.

Jesus told us that in this world we will have trouble. Issues, derailments, and problems have no right to take us by surprise. Expect there to be trouble because that is exactly what Jesus warned us would come. When trouble comes say thank You Lord for giving me strength to overcome this. Thank You Lord for knowing this was going to happen and for already having a plan of victory.

Do you remember the feeling of winning? Maybe your high school sports team beat the opposing side. Maybe you won an award at work for good work ethic. Maybe you won the heart of your spouse. You are invited to be on the winning side of a war that has already been won. Jesus says, “But take heart! I have overcome the world!” Victory, jubilee, hallelujah to the Highest, God is victorious! Champions do not crumble to the cares God has already conquered. Where there is celebration of Christ’s extravagant, valiant love for you, there is no room for panic, just peace.

Photography by Jessica Ray

In His Joys,

Hannah Elise Abbott

            

How God Takes Grief and Gives Gladness

When you are going through challenges in life, it is easy to think that it will never get better. Extreme blows to your health make it hard to think that healing is just not happening. Losing loved ones feels like your heart has been ripped out. Not getting the outcome you expectantly desired hits hard. It is tempting to fall into the trap of thinking that grief is all you got.  

This morning I read John 16:21-22 which says, "A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.”

What would we live like if we truly believed when Jesus said that there will be a time when “no one will take away your joy”? Certainly, Bible characters who lived this example must have believed that complete joy amidst grief is a gift from God. One of my favorite stories about joy breaking down the chains of grief is Paul and Silas. The Bible says in Acts 16:25-26, “About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them. Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everyone's chains came loose.” 

Can you imagine if the first thing we did in the midst of our despair was to break into song about our Savior? Chains would be broken. Healing would take over. Matters that seem colossally challenging would crumble. You don’t have to give birth to a child or be in prison to start discovering how God takes grief and gives gladness! Open the gift of gladness and God will unwrap your grief.

In His Joys,

Hannah Elise Abbott