Where Healing Meets Heaven

September 2012 everything changed. A mild traumatic brain injury had left more repercussions than a renowned conductor leading an orchestra. I never understood concussions or how an unseen ailment really could be that bad, until it happened to me. One whack on the head from standing up underneath an elevated lifeguard stand did it for me. I was so focused on getting the little kids out of the deep end, that when I got out I wasn’t paying close enough attention to my surroundings.

There was no passing out or abnormal findings on the MRI. But, there were months of physical therapy to reduce headaches, months of speech therapy to target executive functioning, and months of counseling. At 19 years old I could only be in college coursework part-time. This is the same girl who graduated high school at 16 years old. Wondering why my brain wasn’t up to par was too much energy to even invest. Thinking about what I would wear each day, how to not look so out of place wearing sunglasses inside buildings because the light bothered my eyes, and taking frequent naps began to seep up my time.

For one year I went natural and did not take medication. There came a point where the pain was unbearable and I needed something to relieve the pressure. Finally, for nearly four years I took different medications. Tried migraine medications-did not cut it. I found that taking muscle relaxants meant my parents had to drive me to graduate school. The grogginess made me feel and look so out of it. But, at least being tired meant I had less energy to think about the pain.

I wake up with a headache. I go to sleep with a headache. There is constant pressure radiating from my neck into all areas surrounding my brain. Stress, lack of sleep, poor diet, and exercise all make it spike. But even the most balanced lifestyle and childlike dependence on Jesus comes with a constant headache.

I have lived the past 3 months with no medication. This Friday on September 1^st, 5 years after the incident, I am receiving a diagnostic procedure under x-ray. A shot of Marcaine injected in the left sensory nerve on my neck will reveal whether these headaches are caused from the TBI or if they are due to post-concussion syndrome. If they are caused by the TBI-the doctor will be able to kill the sensory nerve in my neck every couple months until it regenerates again. Only seeing if the pain subsides after the procedure will tell. If there is still pain after the procedure-then it is post-concussion syndrome and so far, no-one has told me of a cure.

This morning I was watching part of The Gospel of John and focused on the scene based off of John chapter 11 where Lazarus’s sisters came to Jesus and Martha said, “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask.” Then I told Jesus, “Lord, if only You had been there, I would have not hit my head. But even now I know that You can heal me.” That open conversation with my Creator gave me great peace. After devotions, the clinic called to schedule the appointment.

The timing of how Jesus raised Lazarus was perfected to reveal His power, strength, and to encourage witnesses to behold the grandness of our Maker. I can’t help but believe that the timing of the incident and God’s soon approaching healing will also encourage witnesses to behold the life-giving power my Jesus has. Jesus could have chose to wait to raise Lazarus from the dead until the Resurrection, but He didn’t. Jesus could choose to wait to heal me until the Resurrection, but He may perform another Lazarus story and heal my brain. He gave me these Bible stories as proof of His grace, power, and ability to heal.

My testimony is for Jesus. No matter how He decides to unfold this story, He has my obedient heart, understanding that suffering will be annihilated one day, and rejoicing spirit in His life-giving name.

I want to thank Him for using my experience to heighten my empathy for others. The compassion my speech therapist had on me, made me realize that I want to encourage others on their journey to empower their communication efforts. Only this God full of sustaining love and patience could take my circumstances and bring me through so much. I am now on my second year of graduate school and am studying speech-language pathology. How precious is the gift of understanding a bit more of what other’s communication/speech and language struggles is like!

I want the hard times to drive my thoughts heavenward and the hearty times to drive my thoughts heavenward. I want to bless the Lord at all times. I have a bump on my head that is a constant reminder of hitting my head just right, the highs and lows that came with it, and the hope of healing. I can’t wait for heaven. To exchange testimonies with the apostle Paul and learn about how he faced the thorn in his side during battle each day.

My prayer for you is that your struggles, difficulties, and ailments whether you are attacked spiritually, physically, or emotionally-will not deter you from putting your hope in Jesus. Fill your life with His presence, His gifts, His writings, His teachings, His songs. Let your testimony be shared from the rooftops and get ready because He may send you on a mission to share what He has done for you with the other worlds, when we all get to heaven.

Skillet’s new song Lions makes me want to roar victoriously even more:

“If we're gonna fly, we fly like eagles

Arms out wide

If we're gonna fear, we fear no evil

We will rise

By your power, we will go

By your spirit, we are bold

If we're gonna stand, we stand as giants

If we're gonna walk, we walk as lions”

Ambient Light Studios
https://www.facebook.com/myambientlightstudios/?fref=ts

“For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith.” ~ 1 John 5:4

In His Joys,

Hannah Elise

23 Things I've Learned in 23 Years

23. Love always wins. I was out last night at the Lincoln Haymarket to have a Happy 23rd Birthday photo shoot and this glowing couple came up to me and exclaimed that it was their 32nd Wedding Anniversary and that what are the odds of running into each other?! They had noticed my big silver balloons and asked if they could switch the balloons around for a quick pic. Of course they could! God knows that love stories are so important to me. I see a reflection of the truest love story of God pursuing my heart when I see a couple relentlessly pursue each other throughout their marriage. Thank you Mr. & Mrs. Bartle for letting me share a glimpse into the sweet sparkle you share for each other and model for your children!

Happy 32nd Anniversary Mrs. & Mr. Barbara Bartle!

22. Think the best of him/her. Too many times I misinterpreted others’ actions and completely missed the point that they had endearing intentions. Clarify and condition your heart to not be defensive.

21. Perspective is powerful. One of my favorite quotes is, “Sooner or later you will see the big picture God is painting for your life instead of just the colors He's using at the moment.”

20. Spend some time on the streets learning from people who are homeless. Their advice about avoiding their circumstances and their positivity towards finding the little things in life to add cheer are priceless.

19. Take care of your health. When I was 19 I found out I have fructose intolerance. Following the FODMAP diet has eliminated the majority of my issues and I now enjoy eating the delightful foods our Creator made!

18. Invest energy and time into protecting your family unit. As a daughter I have a responsibility to uphold my parents marriage by not pitting the other parent against each other. As a sister I have a responsibility of mentoring my brother and sharing my mistakes with him so that he does not make the same.

17. Take Driver’s Education. In Hawaii my instructor, Mr. Higa, pled with our class to sign a pledge to not text and drive as well as to not talk on the phone and drive. The point is that our mind is distracted while we are engaged in those activities, even hands free. A person on the other end of the phone can’t see that semi coming too close and will not let up talking. “Don’t tempt fate that text can wait.”

16. Push yourself academically. When I was 16 my mom encouraged me to leave high school to pursue college at part-time, slow, and steady pace. After prayerfully considering it, that was a great choice for me and one that my younger brother has made as well.

15. Don’t follow the status quo. Listen to what God is telling you to do. Some of the choices I have made have been because the Holy Spirit was calling me to make them. Sometimes professors and even church members will not understand the calling God has for you. Don’t let that get in the way of God parting the Red Sea.

14. You can wait to find your mate. In other words, you don’t have to say yes to every date. One of my favorite quotes by Eric Vaughn is, “If his six pack is fantastic, but his Bible is still in the plastic. I don’t even gotta say it.”

13. Train your brain to reframe negative thoughts into positive ones. Forming healthy connections and pathways in our brain means making the choice to not engage in negativity. You may need to make boundaries with others who do not want to go on this marathon with you.  

12. Exercise your body, it will thank you. Your performance at work and school will skyrocket. You will think clearer and be more efficient. Squats and burpees are my best friend.

11. Interview couples about their family dynamics and love story. Their advice will set you up for success and help you beware of common pitfalls that are avoidable. Getting couples to reminisce about their love story may encourage them to choose to reenact those times and strengthen their spark and choice to love each other continually.

10. Getting jabs is often from others’ insecurity. Hurt people hurt people. They need a healthy dose of unconditional love. Don’t take it personally. You have the special gift of modeling to them what going the extra mile means.

9. Find humor in everything you can. I once heard a quote that went something like, “Children laugh on average 300 times a day, while adults laugh on average 17 times a day. Jesus says we should be like children.”

8. Learn the love languages of those around you. Is it words of affirmation, physical tough, receiving gifts, quality time, or acts of service? One time I told someone who is like my sister that her love language must be this or that. She smiled and sweetly said, “Oh, I think they are ALL my love languages.” Your encouragement, affirmation, empathy, touch, thoughtfulness, focus, one-on-one time, and actions speak volumes and can communicate love on a daily basis.

7. Celebrate Sabbath. Taking a 24-hour break from academics and work has never held me back or hindered my life, it has only caused me to be more energized, at peace, and ready for the next week. If God rested on the 7^th day from all of His creation, then of course we can rest on that day and enjoy His creation.

6. Set healthy boundaries, emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally. Set emotional boundaries with those who are not your spouse or significant other. Set physical boundaries in your relationships. Set spiritual boundaries in your values and who sets the tone for your choices. Set mental boundaries through taking breaks and agreeing to how much you will take on.

5. Proverbs 11:25 is so true! “The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.” It really is greater to give than to receive. We can never out give God. In reflecting on giving tithe, God has always supplied more than I need and given me more in return than the 10% that I have given back that was already His to begin with.

4. Less is more. This is true in a lot of areas. You will probably feel better if you don’t overstuff yourself at mealtime, if you don’t spread yourself thin with extracurricular activities, and if you listen more than you speak. 

3. Stay transparent. When I have opened up about my current struggles, others echo that they can relate and then we can encourage each other. When I have told faculty that I am struggling in their classes, they talk me through the material and give me test-taking tips. When you finally talk to God about how you feel overburdened, He has permission from you to lighten your load. 

2. Be genuine. Find out how the person next to you is doing whether they are a friend, foe, or stranger and ask them follow-up questions to go deeper. Thoughtfully respond when someone takes you off guard, they just might need a genuine gesture.

1. Give God a chance. What picture of His character has been painted for you all these years? The God I know is a God of love, Who is doing everything He can to protect you in such a sin-filled world, Who is not controlling everyone’s actions because He gives free choice, Who has a better plan that is unfolding one day closer at a time, Who wants to pursue a genuine friendship with you, and Who loves you just as you are, but too much to leave you and me that way.

In His Joys,

Hannah Elise Abbott

Don't Sweat It

In Luke 22:39-46 Jesus goes to the Mount of Olives with His disciples to pray in the garden. Jesus asked his disciples to pray so that they would not enter into temptation. Jesus knelt down about a stone’s throw away and prayed, “Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done.” Jesus petitions and pleads with God to give Him an alternative route, yet submits to the Father graciously throughout the entire ordeal. A heavenly angel comes to encourage Jesus with strength from on high. The Bible says that “being in agony, Jesus prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.”

            Jesus is so distraught with the weight of the world’s sins on His shoulders. His body is reacting to the extreme levels of stress by producing big drops of blood. Jesus’ way of combating the enemy of sin was through fervent prayer and submission to God. As each drop of blood dripped from the Savior’s brow, He selflessly showed that you, His child, do not ever need to sweat it. Whether you are battling an addiction, fighting an illness, or upset by circumstances, remember that you don’t need to sweat it. The Savior has already fought that battle for you and He won it victoriously.

            When you are tempted to think that your battle will never get better, remember that there is a God who has already won the war. When you begin to go down the slippery slope of sulking in reaction to your strife, remember that submitting to God worked for Jesus and will work for you too. Make replacing your overwhelmed countenance with an ordinary reaction to pray. Jesus felt the sting of every situation that has ever and will ever try to weigh you down. The garden is where Jesus willingly allowed every heartache and hard time to uproot from your life and plant into His. There is no reason to sweat it, the Savior has already bled it.

Koko Head
Honolulu, Hawaii